disappontment

oh, let's face it.

i'm suitable for no one, and i should start liking
cats as it seems that's the best relationship i
can hope for.

yes, i feel sh****. it's like i've got hasbro or
mattell tattoed on me somewhere as i keep getting
played. i'm so tired of it.

i just want to find someone who will like me, love
me, respect me and...hopefully...want to keep spending
time with me after the first meeting or two.

i'm tired of days, weeks, months, years passing by and
hearing about this friend and that friend who is married,
who's pregnant, who's just had a new baby. it's not
because i'm not happy for them, because i am! it's
because i no longer truly believe i'm going to have those
things in my life as desperately as i want them.

this is what one of my LJ friends wrote today...
I really touched by what she said.....

It is touching....

I always believe every life has a purpose....it just takes its time to discover it....so much arrangements in the world to accept a new life....from the darkness of mother's womb...to her pain of bearing it...learning the balance to stand upright and walk on the tiny legs...strict lessons of knowledge....punishments to the relentless soul...growing up with moments of joy and sadness...tears and laughter....making and breaking hearts...wanting this and hating that....losing this and having that....the intricate symphony of life in this world has a definite purpose for each of us....sometimes we understand the difference we make...sometimes we dont...but when we dont...somebody needs to highlight it for us...so that we dont complicate things for the destiny by pulling us out of the play...

Maybe you do it for your friend...