funny :)))

Subject: Re: funny :))) Thu Jan 24, 2008 2:41 pm

This is the fairy tale that should have been read to us when we were little:

Once upon a time in a land far away,

~~~~~~~~

a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess

~~~~~~~~

happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues
on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.

~~~~~~~~

The frog hopped into the princess' lap
and said: " Elegant Lady,
I was once a handsome prince,
until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.

~~~~~~~~

One kiss from you, however,
and I will turn back
into the dapper, young prince that I am

~~~~~~~~
and then, my sweet, we can marry

~~~~~~~~

and set up housekeeping in your castle

~~~~~~~~

with my mother,

~~~~~~~~

where you can prepare my meals,

~~~~~~~~

clean my clothes, bear my children,

~~~~~~~~

and forever feel

grateful and happy doing so. "
~~~~~~~~

That night,
~~~~~~~~
as the princess dined sumptuously
~~~~~~~~
on lightly sauteed frog legs
~~~~~~~~
seasoned in a white wine
~~~~~~~
and onion cream sauce,
~~~~~~~~
she chuckled and thought to herself:
~~~~~~~~
I don't **** think so.

Subject: Re: funny :))) Sat Jan 26, 2008 12:33 am

funny :))) - Page 3 246708712_51995da571

funny :))) - Page 3 236197612_5f4f4b64b2

funny :))) - Page 3 388576159_ba3c1d22bb

Subject: Re: funny :))) Sat Jan 26, 2008 12:41 am

Subject: Re: funny :))) Fri Feb 01, 2008 9:45 pm

Subject: Re: funny :))) Thu Feb 07, 2008 5:44 am

Subject: Re: funny :))) Thu Feb 07, 2008 10:03 am

wow!!!

Subject: Re: funny :))) Wed Feb 20, 2008 1:53 pm

Subject: Re: funny :))) Tue Mar 04, 2008 3:02 pm

Subject: Re: funny :))) Wed Mar 05, 2008 12:29 am

Owlet wrote:

Subject: Re: funny :))) Wed Mar 26, 2008 5:46 pm

Subject: Re: funny :))) Wed Mar 26, 2008 6:01 pm

RIGHT ON!!! Rolf

Subject: Re: funny :))) Wed Apr 09, 2008 5:47 am

Capitalism and cows

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM-- You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

FRENCH CORPORATION-- You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon(tm) and market them world-wide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION-- You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

A BRITISH CORPORATION-- You have two cows. Both are mad.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION-- You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION-- You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION-- You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

A HINDU CORPORATION-- You have two cows. You worship them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION-- You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.

AN ARKANSAS CORPORATION-- You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.

ENRON CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.

ARTHUR ANDERSON, LLC-- You have 2 cows. You shred all documents that Enron has any cows, take 2 cows from Enron for payment for consulting the cows, and attest that Enron has 9 cows.

Subject: Re: funny :))) Fri Apr 11, 2008 4:45 am

Thirsty Monkey - For more amazing video clips, click here

Subject: Re: funny :))) Fri Apr 11, 2008 4:48 am

äàààààà, âîò ýòî äàààààà íó è îáåçüÿíààààà

Subject: Re: funny :))) Tue Apr 15, 2008 3:18 am

Subject: Re: funny :))) Tue Apr 15, 2008 3:19 am

Subject: Re: funny :))) Tue Apr 15, 2008 3:22 am

Subject: Re: funny :))) Tue Apr 15, 2008 3:24 am

Subject: Re: funny :))) Tue Apr 15, 2008 3:33 am

Subject: Re: funny :))) Tue Apr 15, 2008 3:00 pm

Subject: Re: funny :))) Thu May 01, 2008 2:25 pm

A proud India

A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is an American. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were American too. Not really knowing why but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like flashy fireworks.

There is, however, one exception.

A girl named Gita has not gone along with the crowd.

The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because I am not an American." replied Gita.

"Then", asks the teacher, "What are you?"

"I'm a proud Indian," boasts the little girl.

The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Gita why she is an Indian.

"Well", my mom and dad are Indians, "so I'm an Indian too."

The teacher is now angry.

"That's no reason", she says loudly, "if your mom was an idiot, and your dad was an idiot, what would you be then?"

A pause, and a smile.

"Then," says Gita, "I'd be an American."

Subject: Re: funny :))) Thu May 01, 2008 3:37 pm

Subject: Re: funny :))) Fri May 02, 2008 1:01 am

Dad, I was away for a week.
Yesterday I send a fax to my wife I'd be home that night, and when I got into my room I found my wife in another man's arms.

"Why, Dad? Tell Me Why!"

Dad Kept silent for a few minutes, and then coolly said,

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"Maybe, Son, she didn't get the fax."

Subject: Re: funny :))) Fri May 02, 2008 1:21 am

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