funny :)))

DRIVING LICENSE APPLIKASON PHOROM
--------------------------------------------------------------

NOTE: Please do not shoot the person at the applikason kounter.
He will give you the licen.

For phurthar instructions, see bottom applikason.

1. Last name:

(_) Yadav (_) Sinha (_) Pandey (_) Misra (_) Dot no
(Check karet box)

2. First name:

(_) Ramprasad (_) Lakhan (_) Sivprasad (_) Jamnaprasad (_) Dot no
(Check karet box)

3. Age:

(_) Less than phipty (_) Greater than phipty (_) Dot no
(Check karet box)

4. Sex: ____ M _____ P(F) _____ not sure _____not applicable

5. Chappal Size: ____ Lepht ____ Right

6.Occupason:

(_) Politison (_) Doodhwala (_) Pehelwaan (_) House wife (_)Un-employed
(Check karet box)

7. Number of children libing in the household: ___

8. Number that are yours: ___

9. Mather name: _______________________

10. Phather Name: ____________________ (If not no,leave blank)

11. Ejjucason: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)

12. Dental rekard:

(_) Ellow (_) Berownish-ellow (_) Berown (_) Belack (_) Other
__________ Give egjhakt color
(Check karet box)

13.Your thumb imparesson :

____________________________

(If you are copying from another applikason pharom, please do not copy thumb impression also. Please provide your own thumb impression.)

PELEASE DO NOT USE PHINGERS OF YOUR LEGS

Use thumb on your lepht hand only. If you dont have lepht hand, use your thumb on right hand. If you do not have right hand, use thumb on lepht hand.

NOTE : IF YOU DONT HAVE BOTH HANDS, YOU CANNOT DRIVE.

WE ARE VARY ISTRICT ABOUT THIS

who make that DRIVING LICENSE APPLIKASON PHOROM sardar


******************************************************************************************

This wife is too jealous

There was once a wife who was so jealous that when her husband came home one night and she couldn't find hairs on his jackets so she yelled at him, "Great, so now you're cheating on me with a bald woman!"

The next night, when she didn't smell any perfume, she yelled again by saying, "She's not only bald, but she's too cheap to buy any perfume!"

You like Sardar jokes?

Here is a good one:

Santa Singh with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, " I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."
" Oh Dear! " the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But ..what happened to your other ear?"
"The scoundrel called back."

savyonok wrote:

You like Sardar jokes?

Yes, I like jokes abt them I also have some for. exe.

Teacher class mein monkey ke bare mein bata raha tha.
Santa was looking outside the class.
Teacher - Santa, look at me otherwise u will never understand how a monkey looks like.

Try to understand me do not disturb me more.
Leave me alone. Last night I didn’t sleep because of you.
So don’t play with my life, please

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*


sardar tells to mosquito...

but abt mallu I like also

1) What is the tax on a Mallu's income called?
IngumDax

2) Where did the Malayali study?
In the ko-liage.

3) Why did the Malayali not go to ko-liage today?
He is very bissi.

4) Why did the Malayali buy an air-ticket?
To go to Thuubai, zimbly to meet his ungle in
Gelff.

5) Why do Malayalis go to the Gelff?
To yearn meney.

6) What did the Malayali do when the plane caught
fire?
He zimbly jembd out of the vindow.

7) How does a Malayali spell moon?
MOON - Yem Woh yet another Woh and Yen

8)What is Malayali management graduate called?
Yem Bee Yae.

9) What does a Malayali do when he goes to America ?
He changes his name from Karunakaran to Kevin
Curren.

10) What does a Malayali use to commute to office
everyday?
An Oto

11) Where does he pray?
In a Temble, Charch and a Maask

12) Who is Bruce Lee's best friend ?
A Malaya-Lee of coarse.

13) Name the only part of the werld, where Malayalis
dont werk hard?
Kerala.

14) Why is industrial productivity so low in Kerala?
Because 86% of the shift time is spent on
lifting, folding and re-tying the lungi

15) Why did Saddam Hussain attackKuwait?
He had a Mallu baby-sitter, who always used to
say
'KEEP QUWAIT' 'KEEP QUWAIT'

16) What is the Latest Malayali Punch Line?
" Frem Tea Shops To Koll Cenders , We Are Yevery
Where "

17) Why aren't Mals included in hockey and football
teams ?
Coz Whenever they get a corner , they set up a
tea shop.

18) Now pass it on to 5 Mals to get a free sample of
kokanet oil.

19) Pass it on 10 Mals to get a free pack of Benana
Chibbs.

20) Pass it on to 15 Mals to get a set of BROGUN
bones....

DHYAN SE!!!
this post crazy Lora deleted from her badhiya forum, dare say she decided it can hurt Amar&Jd's feeling maybe she had other vision ...

We have our famous friend Santa Singh qualifying for the hot seat. ( He pressed the buttons by accident and managed to qualify).

Amitabh Bachchan : OK Santa I congratulate you for this opportunity here with us.

Santa : Oh ji Wahe guru da khalsa wahe guru di fateh. Chak denge phatte aaj. Tusi start karo ji.

Amitabh Bachchan : OK Santa this is your first question for 1000 Rs. - 'Which state has the largest sikh population ?' and your options are:

A. Punjab
B. Punjab
C. Punjab
D. Punjab

Santa : Oh ji how much time do I've to answer this question

Amitabh Bachchan : Samay ki koi pabandhi nahi hai Santa ji, you can take your time.

Santa (giggles) : Sir ji tricky sawaal puchha hai aapne. I would like to use my lifeline.

Amitabh Bachchan : I'm not surprised on this , which one wud U like to use.

Santa : Audience poll

Amitabh Bachchan : OK audience please be ready with your voting pads, and your time starts now.

After a minute we have a graphic presentation on the board.
A. 25%
B. 25%
C. 25%
D. 25%

Amitabh Bachchan : Santa ji, this is a no good situation for you, I can share your
disgust here.

Santa : Yeh mere saath hi kyon hota hai. Fasa diya Sirji aapki audience ne. I think I've to use my second lifeline - 50 50.

Amitabh Bachchan : Very good ! 50 50 ka istemal karna chahenge. OK computer ji do galat jawab mita diye jayen.

Computer displays A. Punjab and C. Punjab

Santa : Badi chalu machine hai aapki sar ji. Mein chodoonga nahi aaj isko. Wahe guru de kasam mereko third life line bhi chahiye.

Amitabh Bachchan : Kamal hai Santa ji, I must congratulate you, You have record of using all the lifelines in the very first question.This is great . OK phone a friend - kisko phone karna chahen ge aap.

Santa : My one and only one... mera langotiya yaar., Banta Singh.

Amitabh Bachchan : OK Banta ko phone lagaya jaye. Phone rings. Banta picks it 'Hulloooooo, kon hai oye adhi raati,???'

Amitabh Bachchan : Hello Banta ji , mein Amitabh Bachhan bol raha hoon Star Plus ke Kaun Banega Crorepati se.

Banta : OOOOOOOOOO Bachan ji Sasriyakal, koi hor hota to uski to mein.... #_^_%_#_%_%_&. Ki hal chal he sar ji.

Amitabh Bachchan : Mein thik hoon Banta ji, par ye ek family show hai is liye aap apshabdon ka prayog na karen to behtar hoga. Aapke dost yahaan bethe hain mere saath aur.................

Banta (Interrupts) : Aur wo sala pehle hi question pe atak gayahoga, khota hai sala. Sawal pucho ji.

Amitabh Bachchan : Aapko sirf tees second .,.............chaliye mein aapko special
case karte hue 1 minute doonga. Aur aapka samay shuru hota hai aab.

Santa : Oye bante ke ho raya hai yaar ??

Banta : Oye ullu de dum, saale bahar se taala laga gaya khote. Sawere dud wala aaya si, paise mang raya si, aur khotya tu meri kameez pehen gaya. Sale chakki se aata lana tha, tera baap layega kya ??.

Amitabh Bachchan: Santa ji kya kar rahe hain samay khatam ho raha hai.
Santa : Yes Yes. Oye chod use yaar question hai ..... (he tells him the
question).

Banta : Saale sari zindagi tere nakal mar ke fail hota raha hoon, par iska answer mujhe aata hai. Kalank hai tu Punjab ke naam pe. Iska answer Punjab hai lallu.

Santa : oye par ......... (and the clock stops).

Amitabh Bachchan : Samay khatam, aapke mitr ne jawab de diya hai , ab to mujhe pakka confidence hai ke aap kam se kam 1000 to le ke jayenge hi aaj.

Santa : Ullu ka patha hai ji, ye to mujhe bhi pata hai par sale ne yeh to batya nahin ke A hai ya C hai.

And this was the last episode of KBC as most of the audience died laughing...

About a century or two ago, the Pope decided that all the Sikhs had to leave Italy. Naturally there was a big uproar from the Sikh community.
So the Pope made a deal.
He would have a religious debate with a member of the Sikh community. If the Sikh won, the Sikhs could stay. If the Pope won, the Sikhs would leave.
The Sikhs realized that they had no choice. So they picked a middle-aged man named Yatinder Pal Singh (YPS) to represent them. Yatinder asked for one additional condition to the debate. To make it more interesting, neither side would be allowed to talk.
The Pope agreed. The day of the great debate came.
Yatinder Singh and the Pope sat opposite each other for a full minute. Then the Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers.
Yatinder looked back at him and raised one finger.
The Pope waved his fingers in a circle around his head.
Yatinder pointed to the ground where he sat.
The Pope pulled out a wafer and a glass of wine.
Yatinder pulled out an apple. The Pope stood up and said, "I give up. This man is too good. The Sikhs can stay."
An hour later, the cardinals were gathered around the Pope asking him what had happened. The Pope said, "First I held up three fingers to represent the holy trinity. He responded by holding up one finger to remind me that there was still One God common to both our religions. Then, I waved my fingers around me to show him that God was all around us. He responded by pointing to the ground and showing that God was also right here with us. Then, I pulled out the wine and wafer to show that God absolves us from our sins. He pulled out an apple to remind me of original sin. He had an answer for everything. What could I do?"
Meanwhile, the Sikh community had crowded around Yatinder Singh. "What happened?" they asked. "Well," said Yatinder, "First he said to me that the Sikhs had three days to get out of here. I told him not one of us was leaving. Then he told me that this whole city would be cleared of Sikhs. I let him know that we were staying right here". "Yes, and then?" asked the crowd. "I don't know", said Yatinder.. "He took out his lunch, and I took out mine".

To
Cousin Banta
Jalandhar

Dear Banta,

I'm writing this real slow cause I know you can't read very fast. We don't live where we did when you left. We read in the paper that most accidents happen within 10 miles of home, so we moved.

I won't be able to send you our new address cause the last family that lived here took the house numbers with them so they wouldn't have to change their address.

This place has a washing machine. The first day mama put four shirts in, pulled the chain and we have not seen them since.

Its only rained here twice this week. Three days the first time and five days the second time.

I know its cold where you are so we're sending you a coat. Ma said it would be too heavy to mail with them buttons on it, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.

We got a letter from the funeral home. They said if we don't make the last payment on grandma's funeral bill, up she comes!

My sister had a baby this morning. I haven't heard whether it's a boy or a girl, so I don't know if I'm an uncle or an aunt.

Uncle Balbir fell in the big whiskey vat. When they tried to pull him out, he fought them off, so he drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.

Cousin Santa
Ludhiana.

P.S : I was planning to enclose the money that I owe you with this envelope, but I had already sealed this by then.

roots of break dance

The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and it won again. The local paper read:

PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race. The next day, the local paper headline read:

BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS.



This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.

The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day:

NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.

The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.



The next day the paper read:

NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.

This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild. The next day the headlines read:

NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.

The bishop was buried the next day.

The moral of the story is . . . being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery . ..even shorten your life. So be yourself and enjoy life. Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll be a lot happier and live longer!

Here is the solution to the trouble in the Airline industry:

How to save the airlines:

Dump the male flight attendants. No one wanted them in the first place. Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking strippers! What the hell --- They don't even serve food anymore, so what's the loss?

The strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales and get a 'party atmosphere' going in the cabin. And, of course, every businessman in this country would start flying again, hoping to see naked women.

Because of the tips, female flight attendants wouldn't need a salary, thus saving even more money. I suspect tips would be so good that we could charge the women for working the plane and have them kick back 20% of the tips, including lap dances and 'special services.'

Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing naked women. Hijackings would come to a screeching halt, and the airline industry would see record revenues. This is definitely a win-win situation if we handle it right --- a golden opportunity to turn a liability into an asset.

Why didn't Bush think of this? Why do I still have to do everything myself?

Sincerely,
Bill Clinton

A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN.
The only question asked was:
"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage
in the rest of the world?"

The survey was a huge failure,
In Africa they didn't know what 'food' meant,
In India they didn't know what 'honest' meant,
In Europe they didn't know what 'shortage' meant,
In China they didn't know what 'opinion' meant,
In the Middle East they didn't know what 'solution'meant,
In South America they didn't know what 'please' meant,
And in the
USA they didn't know what 'the rest of the world' meant!!!

this is what many girls like